America First Europe Second
America First (other country) Second
I came across these “America First” videos about a week ago and ever since then I’ve been laughing my head off and eagerly awaiting new ones to appear on Youtube. Amidst all the serious political tensions this is one of the funniest and cleverest things I’ve seen in a long time… the light-hearted dealing of serious issues makes them much easier to bare… I loved these videos and you will too!
During President Donald Trump‘s inauguration speech on 20 January he proclaimed, “It’s only going to be America First, America First.”
This slogan was then spoofed by a Dutch late night tv show 3 days later and made into an introduction video about their country … and what an incredible job they did! Switzerland then got in on the act another few days later and it became an unofficial friendly ‘competition’ between the European countries. However, now everybody is getting in on the act, which I think is awesome!
Why do I love these videos? Well believe it or not, I’ve actually learnt a lot of random facts about these countries, most of which I didn’t know before. Even in the Australia video I didn’t know everything single thing they mentioned in it. I had no interest in history when I was in high school and with Australia being so far from Europe, it just seemed to have no relevance to me as a teenager. Living in Europe now has made me much much more interested in not only history but also culture and politics.
From a tourism point of view I think these videos are also great. Slovenia was never on my ‘radar’ as a country to visit even though I have heard great things about it from my sister and well-travelled friends. However their video made me realise that it’s an extraordinary and beautiful country which must be visited!
It also makes me wonder, is humour a cultural thing? I notice when I watch English films at the cinema (in VO – version originale – that is, undubbed) and they say something funny I laugh but noone else in the audience (French people) laugh. Likewise when I watch a French film others will be laughing but I have no idea what was so funny.
Also I find that the smaller European nations who speak English well tended to be the ones who made the first and best videos. Maybe that’s the problem?!
I’m not sure if anyone from Asia (not including Kazakhstan) or South America can pull it off due to the difference in culture/humour but we shall wait and see! Maybe some English-speaking expats can do create something funny. I hope so!
I’m still waiting for UK and Canada!
So onto the videos!
I’ve listed the first few and then a bunch others: well-known countries or ones I really liked (the order is roughly the order they were uploaded).
1. America First Netherlands Second
Created by Dutch news satire show Zondag Met Lubach (ZML) (Sunday With Lubach)
Uploaded: 23 January | 21.7 million views
“This is the Afsluitdijk. It’s a great great wall that we built to protect us from all the water from Mexico. We built an entire ocean between us and Mexico. Nobody builds oceans better than we do.”
2. America First Switzerland Second
Created by Swiss comedy show Deville Late Night by SRF Comedy
2 February | 9.3 million views
“We love gold. We have tons of it. During World War II the Jews gave it to us for safekeeping but they never returned, so strange. So we melted it… like Fondue. Our national dish. We don’t eat it ourselves, we just sell it to tourists. They love it! So dumb.”
3. America First Denmark Second
Created by Natholdet – TV2
2 February | 4.6M views
“Your national bird is the bald eagle. The very manly bald eagle, ok? Very manly. Our national bird is the very feminine mute swan. You should see it. Very beautiful, very sexy bird! How about we get them two together – the eagle and the swan – and make beautiful sweagle babies… It would be the best bird!”
[my favourite line out of all the videos.. sweagle babies! hahaha]
4. America First Portugal Second
Created by 5 Para a Meia-Noite – RTP
2 February | 3.55M views
“We abolished slavery in 1751, more than one hundred years ago before the United States. Deal with it. And consider doing the same in your company. Well your sons’ company.”
5. America First Belgium Second
Created by De Ideale Wereld – Astrid Nuyens – VRT NU
2 February | 2.2M views
“Brussels is a huge hellhole but the rest of Belgium is truly great, believe me. Except for the French-speaking part of course because we hate them. They’re the Mexicans of Belgium. We also hate the German-speaking part because they’re like the Germans of Belgium. We hate Germans.”
6. America First Germany Second
3 February | 6.6M views
“Germany hosted two world wars in the last hundred years. They were the best world wars in the world and we won both of them! And anyone who says anything else is fake news. Period.”
10. America First Italy Second
Created by Casa Surace tv studio
6 February | 1.24M views
“We are the sunniest country in Europe. In Denmark it rains all the time. In Netherlands it rains all the time. In Germany it rains all the time. Instead, we have all that sun. So much sun. In fact our sun is so big that you won’t need to spend any money to look orange. Spectacular orange, Mister President.“
10. America First Croatia Third
Created by Šarić Mareković Tomac Production
6 February | 795K views
“We know you’ll love our beautiful city of Dubrovnik. It’s old, it’s beautiful and it has big walls all around it. Big walls. Best walls in Croatia. Last year they shot Star Wars there. A movie about an evil emperor that rules the galaxy and everybody who’s against him dies. You’ll enjoy that movie. It’ll be your favourite.“
19. America First Slovenia Sloppy Second
Created by late night show Ta Teden z Juretom Godlerjem – PlanetTV
7 February | 492K views
“We also love Putin. We closed down the entire country when he came to visit. That’s how much we love your topless boyfriend. Did Austria do that for him? No, because they’re a bunch of yodelling losers.”
21. America First Spain Second
Created by TonieMcee (not an official video but quite well made)
7 February | 110K views
“Yes we’re in Europe, but we’re better than any other country around here, especially better than those weed smokers and those crêpe makers.”
24. America First Austria Second
Created by ORFeins (Austria Broadcasting Corporation)
7 February | 390K views
“You might know Mozart, famous composer. Just like you Mister President, he’s best known for his magic flute and his balls. Wonderful!”
25. America First Australia Second
Created by Australian late night comedy show The Weekly – ABC TV
8 February | 126K views
“Australia loves travel bans. We have all the best travel bans. When Johnny Depp tried to bring his dogs here we threatened to shoot them. And then made him film this humiliating video. Sad!”
I’ve made a playlist here so you can view them all easily. I have not included the France one because I’m very disappointed in it. It’s not funny at all and not like the other ones. I’m hoping a much better one will be uploaded soon.
What do you need to make a great America First (your country) Second video?
- It must be in English
- It must have a male narrator with a Donald Trump-like voice and accent
- It must boast about your country and at the same time use self-deprecating humour, making fun of yourself as well as the US and/or other ‘competing’ countries.
It should start with “This is a message from the government of (country). Dear Mr President…” and end with “We totally understand it’s going to be America First but can we just say (country) second?”
It should contain at least 5 of the following phrases:
- “it’s gonna be great” / “it’ll be great
- “it’s gonna be fantastic”
- “you’re gonna love it”
- “total losers”
- “total disaster”
- “we have the best/most ____”
- “it’s ridiculous”
- “it’s beautiful”
- “yuge” (huge)
- “fake news”
- “you’ll love it, it’s great”
- “you love building walls, we ____”
- “it’s true”
- “you’ve got the Trump Towers, we’ve got the ____”
- “we heard that you(r) ____ “
It should talk about at least 4 of these topics:
- pop culture
- news events
- current affairs
- tv/film/music stars
- tourist sites
Some suggested topics it can joke about:
- Muslims/Jews/Black Africans
- Ku Klux Klan
- racist remarks
- his small hands
- pussy grabbing
- building walls
- the small number of people who attended his inauguration
(logo created by me, photo from Unsplash)
Happy Viewing! (or Happy video making!)
Did you enjoy these videos? Let me know in the comments below 🙂